Motherhood and Mothers Who Long to Have Children

Updated: A lot has happened since last Mother's Day, when I invited some amazing women to guest post on WBMW to share their personal thoughts about motherhood and being a Latter-day Saint woman. One in particular, the launch of my latest online endeavor to gather likeminded LDS women, the Mormon Women Stand Facebook page. (MWS)

As I was reflecting on these many wonderful posts by some of the most incredible Mormon women I've come to know over the last few years, it is of note, I think, that five are among those whom I invited to stand with me on MWS. And among those, is Angela Fallentine, my Co-founder. How blessed I feel to know these powerful women and to now work collaboratively to "without hesitation, sustain the Lord's Prophet, the Family Proclamation as doctrine and our divine role as covenant women for Christ." (See MWS mission statement.)

And so, I take this opportunity to repost this post to highlight and honor, each of these, my sisters in Christ, and in particular, some of the voices, now, behind Mormon Women Stand. (Noted in red.)

Original Post: Happy Mother's Day! To every woman, I honor this divine nature, which God has placed within us to mother and to be mothers. It is truly what is beautiful about being a woman and what makes us unique and distinct from our male counterpart. It's the part of me that I love best about myself. It's the part of me that has made me stretch the most, because it has exposed the parts of me where I was my weakest; and thank God, those weak fibers were malleable when the pressure of humility was forced upon them long and hard enough -- though painful at times. Mother as student: you don't want to go backwards and do it again, but you wouldn't give back the lessons either, if you had to give back what you've learned -- the value beyond measure. Twenty six letters are not adequate to express my thoughts and feelings about my own five beautiful children and the joy they bring to my life. They are my everything... along with my eternal companion.

I often think, how could anyone who believes in God possibly imagine that He would create this beautiful world, allow us to deeply fall in love with someone, bring children into this world together, form families and love them enough to give our lives for them, and then... done. What? No. That's not how it goes. 

Eternal families are what Heavenly Father intends for our families to become. Our relationships are to last beyond this life, because they began before this life. Every mother who holds her new infant child in her arms knows that she is not meeting some foreigner. The depth of love we feel from the very beginning for our children began long ago and will continue throughout eternity because families are forever...

I've thoroughly enjoyed the overwhelming response to the invitation that I extended to the incredible women who have graced this blog over the last few days; in total, 12, including my own. (links to other entries included at the bottom of this post) I've been touched by their insights, faith and humor, but also their unwavering commitment to home and family above all other endeavors. To me, that is what sets this group of women apart and is why I chose to bring them before you, to honor womanhood and mothers.

Along with each of their posts, they have included a small bio, which was intentional. I hope that you've taken note of what these women do in their lives; alongside of raising their families as their number one priority. In each case, these sister's lives are living testimonies of the principles that they profess. Not one of them would ever presume to make an example of themselves. Nevertheless, they are willing to be 'out there' and stand for the right, in their own unique way.

My final guest blogger, by now, should be familiar to most of you, Angela Fallentine. What you don’t' know about Angela though, is that she has not, yet, been able to conceive; making Mother's Day, as it is for many women, who for various reasons are not able to have children a very difficult day. This woman continues to give me cause to be grateful that we have become friends.

Angela's courage, strength and faith in the Lord, stand alongside the likes of Esther. It truly is a privilege to know her.

On this Mother's Day, I honor Angela Peterson Fallentine, in her walk along the path of discipleship...





Mother. Motherhood. Women. Womanhood. These words are among the most beautiful and meaningful ones in the human language. One of the reasons that these words evoke such powerful emotions is that we all have mothers and other women in our life who have shaped us into the people we are today. We’re all aware of the power and influence of women, but perhaps too often we fail to recognize our own significance and purpose. Yet even in the most ordinary of circumstances, all women of God are extraordinary.

President Spencer W. Kimball described the power and potential of women when he taught:

“There has never been a time in the Church when women are able to do more to show what their true role in the world can and ought to be. The impact and influence of women and mothers on our world is most important. The thought that “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world” is more viable today than ever before. … To be a righteous woman is a glorious thing in any age. To be a righteous woman during the winding up scenes on this earth, before the second coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times. She has been placed here to help to enrich, to protect, and to guard the home—which is society’s basic and most noble institution. Other institutions in society may falter and even fail, but the righteous woman can help to save the home, which may be the last and only sanctuary some mortals know in the midst of storm and strife.”

This is an incredible quote. With all that is going on in the world with the attacks on the family, marriage, women and motherhood, we need to be reminded of the force for good women have in the world—especially when we’re united in this purpose. We need to proclaim the doctrine and role of righteous women more often. We need to shout it on the rooftops so we don’t forget. So the world doesn’t forget.

Perhaps this Mother’s Day will be a particularly happy one for you. For others, it may be more difficult--especially for those who are longing to have children. I remember sitting in several Mother’s Day Sacrament meetings during the past few years, with tears in my eyes because of the stinging reminders of what I lacked. We had gone through the difficult process of being diagnosed with infertility and had limited time to have children. We also had experienced the rigors of completing and submitting our papers for adoption, knowing that it would take a miracle to be placed with a baby in the country where we live. We had done everything we could, and I felt helpless. While my husband never doubted or wavered in his faith that we would have children, I still felt sad, confused and disappointed. Never at the speakers or the doctrine of motherhood (I love it and have a huge testimony of it!) It was more of feeling of wondering why the most important part of Heavenly Father’s plan was being withheld from a temple worthy, covenant keeping couple that had always been faithful and loyal to Him. However, the Spirit was telling me that I still needed to go deeper and get closer to my Heavenly Father in order to be tutored by this trial and to not let it consume me. There had to be a reason for all of this, and I needed to find it out for myself. That was a pivotal decision for me, and I embarked on a process that was absolutely necessary for my path to becoming a better disciple of Jesus Christ and a more trusting, believing daughter of God.

The answers came gradually, but profoundly. Some are too personal to share. Others came in the form of tremendous opportunities and the opening of unexpected doors. It is impossible to transfer this understanding to another, because each of us must go through this intense path of discovery for ourselves. However, a powerful answer came while listening to an interview with Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. It cut to the center of my heart. I finally understood what the Lord was trying to teach me. It is a principle that applies to all women and all circumstances, and was a message that totally changed my perspective. I quote from him here:

“I don’t know how it is for everybody, but I know that in my own life, salvation is not a cheap experience. No one is going to have rich, abundant experience for minimal effort. God’s opportunity is our extremity. I don’t want that to sound depressing, I don’t want to make it sound that it always has to be hard, because it doesn’t. It isn’t always hard. You know it isn’t always hard. And there are wonderful blessings. But I do believe that there is something in this walk of salvation--this quest--that says we have to pay something for that. When we come to know the Savior, it is when we’ve been out at least in the borderlands of Gethsemane. The road to salvation always goes through Gethsemane. And it will always require a journey to the summit of Calvary.”

Elder Holland continues, “If we say we are Disciples of Christ, then we walk where He walked, we feel what He felt, we pray the way He prayed, and we shed the tears He shed—at least in some proportion. At least in some symbol. The invitation always is: Come, follow me. But what we have to be fully prepared for is that some of that journey will be into at least the borderlands of Gethsemane. At least somewhere in the shadow of Calvary. I do not know any other way that it can happen. My convictions and feelings for the Savior of the world have been born in the most desperate hours of my life. … Now it isn’t always like that, and it isn’t supposed to always be like that, and we’re a little self-pitying if we act like it’s always like that. But some parts of the discipleship require that walk. Basically, His walk.”

I can say with certainty, that I have been shown a deeper understanding of why trials—especially those unique to women—are necessary while walking the path of discipleship. There are also wonderful blessings and incredible opportunities that come from being a righteous woman and a righteous mother in the last days. The doctrine of motherhood and the divine role of women are constant, unchanging and beautiful! This Mother’s Day is the perfect opportunity to be reminded of the value our Heavenly Father places on every righteous woman, wherever she may be in her unique journey towards discipleship.


****


Angela Peterson Fallentine was born and raised in a Alberta, Canada and is a Canadian turned Kiwi (a Can-iwi). She and her husband fell in love with the scenery and peaceful lifestyle of New Zealand and they now call these islands in the South Pacific "home". She loves being a wife and a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.







Take some time to enjoy the many insights of all of our guest bloggers, 12 Voices total (including mine here) who have shared thoughts on womanhood and motherhood over the last few days here on WBMW:




Joyce Anderson Brinton and Stephanie Dibbs Sorenson: Reconciling the Okay Mom and Anti-Mom

Diane Robertson, Jan Tolman, Christina Bartholomew and Jocelyn Christensen: Mothering With Power, Strength and Conviction

Cheryl Savage: Motherhood, I Will Rejoice in it Forever!

Michelle Linford:  Motherhood "That is influence. That is power."

Dianne Hanks La Cour: Good News and Bad News on Motherhood




Comments

  1. Does Angela have her own blog?

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    1. Amanda,

      She doesn't, but she did just launch a Facebook page and if you'd like to keep up-to-date with her in the future, I think that would be an excellent way to do so.

      https://www.facebook.com/angela.fallentine

      Delete
  2. I appreciated Angela's experience. As someone who has struggled with infertility and miscarriage, Mother's Day is a difficult day for me. I have friends who have lost their mothers at a young age, those who have strained relationships with their mothers due to abuse, those whose children have attempted suicide on Mother's Day, women who can't have children, but desperately want them, women who don't want children for a variety of reasons, etc. I would love to see Mother's Day celebrated with a focus on womanhood and personhood instead of limiting it specifically to motherhood. First and foremost, we're all women and I believe more could find joy in celebrating divinity in womanhood without limiting our womanhood to motherhood.

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  3. We men truly do not appreciate much of what it means to be a mother. My mother blessed us children every day and every way as long as she was with us. We miss her every day even after all these years. New insight into mother hood was revealed this last weekend with the release of 'Maleficent', the Disney remake of the Disney "Sleeping Beauty." Angelina Jolie's depiction of god motherly in a story of how a child's love can change an adult inspires the soul.

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  4. Motherhood is a divine gift.

    Regards,
    Suzanne

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